8: Vague Writing

Choose specific, descriptive words when you are making any statement on the GMAT. Vague language weakens your writing because it forces the reader to guess what you mean instead of concentrating fully on your ideas and style.

WEAK: Mr. Brown is highly educated.
FORCEFUL: Mr. Brown has a master's degree in business administration.

WEAK: She is a great communicator.
FORCEFUL: She speaks persuasively.

Notice that sometimes to be more specific and concrete you will have to use more words than you might with vague language (as in the first example). This principle is not in conflict with the general objective of writing concisely. Being concise may mean eliminating unnecessary words. Avoiding vagueness may mean adding necessary words to illustrate your point.

Edit these sentences by cutting down on vague language:

1. The principal told John that he should not even think about coming back to school until he changed his ways.

2. The police detective had to seek the permission of the lawyer to question the suspect.

3. Thousands of species of animals were destroyed when the last ice age occurred.

4. The secretary was unable to complete the task that had been assigned.

Answers

1. The principal told John that he could not return to school until his behavior improved.

2. The police detective had to ask the lawyer for permission to question the suspect.

3. Thousands of animal species were destroyed in the last ice age.

4. The secretary was unable to type the document.

GO TO >>>>>>> 9: Cliché